Waiting on "One Day"

Last week was all about change, including my good friend leaving to embark on a trip to chase her dreams.  The concept of goals and dreams has been on my mind lately - with the statement "one day" following each thing I daydream about.

One day.

Has anyone else used this statement extensively - so much so that you don't even believe yourself anymore when you say it?  Where is this one day?  Does it actually exist?

Today has been a reflective day, where did goal setting and action plans go?  I was that person that had the to do list for each day, week, month and year. I was always moving towards something.  Now I have spent time trying to focus on the now.  Throughout 2014 I was focused on myself and living in the moment. It was a great year with 2 great adventures.  Now, here in 2015 - I am realizing I don't know how to set the next goal and action plan and have reverted to the "one day" statement to answer every question thrown at me.

So - turning "One day" into "Today"

After reading an article about a woman I went to university with (a friend of a friend) who will be embarking on a solo hiking trip this summer - I was inspired. I am switching my "one day" to "today" - my "someday" to "today" - my excuses to actions.

Oh and did I mention - I am absolutely terrified?!?

I am an amazing cheerleader - if you have a goal and want someone to support you in taking that leap - I am your woman!  However, to do it myself is terrifying.  I know how to cheer on the leaper, not be the one that jumps. The only problem is, as the cheerleader living in the world of "one day" I watch others achieve their goals, while remaining in the same place. Anyone that has stood on the sidelines likely knows what I am taking about.

So, although I don't have a plan or action steps or anything yet - I am making the declaration that I am moving from "one day" to "today." I am dusting off my dreams, deciding which ones still fit and making an action plan.

Stay tuned to find out what I am going for and how I am about to turn dreams into goals!

A lesson from the Cupboard

With the start of Spring, comes the desire to clean ones home from top to bottom.  I am not sure why it is that spring cleaning seems to be something I actually find myself doing each year, but I guess it is because I love the feeling after it is done - the freedom, the space, the freshness of a place.

This year I started spring cleaning a little bit earlier.  Part of my thought process was to start looking at and getting rid of those things I don't use around the house, in order to prepare for finding my own place again.  I love the neighbourhood that I am currently in, which means I will have to sacrifice space for location, so it is time to start taking inventory.

When I got to my bathroom cupboards, I opened up one of the doors and as I was pulling things out, I realized I had THREE partial bottles of lotion on the go.  So, to some this might not seem like a big deal, but when thinking of living in a small space this just isn't going to work.  I looked at each of them, true they were each a different scent, but why did I need three different lotions on the go?  When I sat them on the counter, I realized I had one more right there.  A glance at my shower was even more embarrassing, two sets of almost empty shampoo and conditioner bottles as well as the two sets I currently use.  (Why I am admitting this all online, I am not entirely sure).

Then I hit the kitchen and opened the fridge door to find 2 partially eaten containers of hummus in the fridge.  One was almost done, and the other one was about half done.

I kind of giggled at myself and asked "So why can you not finish anything before moving on to the next thing."  BOOM - right there, it hit me.  After all the personal development workshops I have gone to and the books read; the lesson was in my fridge and cupboards - why can I not finish anything before moving on to the next.  The saying that is repeated in almost every personal development type workshop I have been in is, "How you do one thing, is how you do everything."  So if this is true, my inability to complete a task before moving on to the next is a pattern, not only in my lotions and my hummus, but in my life.  As something is coming to an end, I start looking for the next thing to fill the gap - not providing space - or time for an ending.

So I have been challenging myself to finish things around the house, whether it be a bottle of lotion, the container of hummus, the task at hand, or the to do list.  My goal for March is to start finishing things and then get rid of the empties and create space.

I have managed to get rid of the empty bottles that have been piling up in our storage locker by donating them to charity.
I now make sure that one jar is done before another is opened in the fridge.
I am still working on the lotions, but two of them are decreasing in volume, depending on if I shower in the morning or evening.
And I am almost down to a reasonable number of shampoo and conditioner bottles in the shower.

I have learned:
that things can come to an end and it is alright,
that if something needs to be replaced, I can replace it,
that the extra space does not need to be filled - especially if there are three more items that do the same job in the cupboard, and
to focus on what I need, why I want things and what is important.

All these great lessons, that started from spring cleaning and a few extra bottles of lotion.

Insight can be found anywhere - you just have to be open to it.

Getting Focused in February

At the start of each year I like to pick a theme to focus on for that year.  As others are making resolutions that are specific, I tend to lean to the more open concept of a theme.  This year, I struggled to determine what I wanted to focus on, there was just too much.  And then - it hit me - right between the eyes - BALANCE.  With everything going on in my life, with all I wanted to do in the next 12 months and beyond, what I truly needed to seek was balance.

The interesting part was where imbalance was showing up in my life.  Not only was I unable to focus on multiple things and get through what I wanted to achieve in different aspects of life; but I have been continuously falling over in balancing postures on my yoga mat.  So with Wanderlust Festival in August I am determined to find BALANCE, both on and off my mat, before joining others in Whistler.

So as I went through what I wanted to accomplish this year - I giggled at the fact it all started with "F".  I spent January clearing out the clutter (I hope to write about that soon) and although there is still more to do - I figured with February being an "F" month - I would use it to launch into my Fabulous year of Focusing on F.

What do I want to FOCUS on this year ....

Relationships - with Family, Friends and Fellas

Myself - Food, Fitness and Faith

Lifestyle - Finances, Fashion, Fun and Fulfillment

Last year I focused fully on ME - I went on a retreat to Bali and then spent a week hiking in the Canadian Rockies.  2014 was a great year - and 2015 is going to be Fabulous!  I am ready to focus on each of these elements to build a BALANCED life.

As February gets started I am exploring how to find balance among all my "F's". I feel super focused and ready to take on the year!

Exploring the Kitchen

It is a new year, which means taking a look over the year that just ended and the new year that lays ahead.  Upon reflection, I realised I really want to explore what I am truly passionate about now. This realisation came to me last Thursday after a night out with the girls eating pizza and talking about life.  One friend has become totally aware of what she loves, her last trip was based on it - and much of her free time is focused on the subject. It was so much fun to listen to her talk about her trip, the excitement and passion just bubbled over.  Later that night I got to thinking about the last time I was that excited and on fire about something.

It seems like it has been awhile, though I am sure it hasn't been as long as I think it has. There have been moments throughout 2014 where I felt excited and passionate about life, about what I was doing; however, it just seems that life has become routine and focused on the "have to do's."

So here I am, on an adventure to reignite my passion - find support and go for something bigger than a nightly routine of searching the Internet.

Tonight, was an exploration in the kitchen - making a meal, getting back to cooking and enjoying what I make.  The meal was simple, a spinach salad with homemade dressing, a veggie burger and potatoes.

Although it was a rather simple meal - it was tasty!

For January, I am focusing on Meatless Mondays (hence the vegetarian meal tonight).  This is partly to see if I feel better, but mainly to try and get out of the food rut I have been in for the last month or so. For me this journey is about searching for something that works and finding the spark that used to ignite when I walked into a kitchen.

I sat down at the table and enjoyed my food. I tried my best to ignore the Internet, though I did put on a short video to watch.  Even though I had something playing in the background, I took my time to really enjoy each bite and completely indulge in fulfilling my burger craving.

I find with being single, cooking and eating alone can be difficult. However, I really like food - delicious food in particular.

I finished the evening off by making a chia pumpkin pudding off of Kris Carr's website. This will be my morning snack for tomorrow.  I tried a bite (or two or three) tonight and it is really good. Sometimes, I have to remind myself that it is not about making a complicated dish or a gourmet meal - it is about making delicious food that I enjoy.

I feel just a little bit more energized and uplifted tonight; and that is what this adventure of discovery is all about.  As I look through recipes, I know the graceful (and not so graceful) exploration to find my spark has once again begun.

Countdown of 2014

The flipping of the calendar to October.

The colder weather and seeing a minus in the forecast.

The discussion of 100 days left of the year.

Leaves falling to the ground.

Embracing the earlier sunset and later sunrise.

As each moment passes, it becomes reality that 2014 is coming to an end.

My friends have been discussing the final 100 days of 2014 - some even creating a challenge for the final days of the year.  I am not quite that ambitious as I come out of my 30 day challenge in September.  However, I am looking at the year I had declared as the "Year of Me" and think of what I have done and what I still wish to accomplish before another year ends.  

I have travelled to Bali where I spent time with 8 other women in a retreat and then 5 other women exploring the country and the culture.

I moved to an apartment I had only ever dreamed of - fireplace and outdoor space included.

I hiked in the backcountry of the Rocky Mountains for a week, spending an entire 24-hours alone.

I have read, I have learned, I have spent time on me.

There is so many things I have learned this year - deep things, simple things, meaningful things.

However, the one thing that I still struggle with is getting into a fitness and health regime that I find sustainable - that I love and appreciate and can do with ease.

This brings me to yesterday - the start of the final quarter of the year and October 1st.  I went to the gym and found a new trainer to work with.  The goal - work on the knee pain problem and get back to activities that I love - "find Healing and  Hotness" is actually how I phrased it.  I want to spend the final 3 months of the year healing my body, mind and heart .... and if I can find my way back into those sassy jeans I bought - that would be an extra bonus.  

My October is littered with fun adventures and I am ready to find the enjoyment and love in life.  I want to take these last 3 months in the declared "Year of Me" and finalize the process I started on January 1st.  I know that I will continue to grow and evolve after this year.  Successes and struggles  will continue to make life more entertaining; however, this year was about really choosing to put me first, focus on re-building my foundation, and finding my love for life again.

As I enter into the last 100 days (well less then that now) - I am committed to my exploration of love and passion - in life, fitness, food and even relationships.  

As I journey these last three months - my goal is to write about my explorations, my adventures, my love, my passion ... to continue to inspire myself to stay still long enough to listen to the next step in moving forward. I would love for others to join along on my journey - for travelling together is so much better than travelling alone.

Wisdom Wednesday - Excellence

Perfectionism.

Some people I know relate to this word and understand it all to well.  I am one of those people.  I have been striving to be perfect in everything I take on since I was young.  Always striving to be the best at whatever the task is in front of me.  However, in recent years perfectionism has turned into procrastination.  The concern that I might not be able to do something perfectly, has caused me to put off the task and have it hanging over my head.

Recently I was talking with a group of friends and the conversation landed on the topic of perfectionism and the toll it takes on a person.  The best piece of advice I got that day was

"Strive for Excellence, not Perfection."

These words seemed so simple (as often the words of wisdom are), but freeing at the same time.

It was not that I had to give up striving and pushing myself to go for what I want.
It wasn't about stopping the pride I take in my work and wanting to do a good job.
It was not even about having to stop making what I do the best it can be.
What the words did provide was the freedom to not be perfect (which really is unrealistic anyway).
The freedom to release the inner critic, just a little bit, and allow myself to move forward while maintaining a standard of excellence.

It is not about being perfect - it is about finding the brilliance in the minor imperfections.

For me it was about setting a standard that I wanted to reach and then giving that idea a little bit of wiggle room.  The room to be creative and to get things done.

So for the past few weeks I have strived to be excellent and release my need to be perfect.  And slowly .... it is freeing up my time and decreasing my stress - bit...by small bit.

Wisdom Wednesday – Decisions

This past week I was faced with a big decision to make – and by past week, I mean I have been debating it for almost a month now.  However, time was running out to actually make the decision and not have it made for me.  When I first saw the opportunity on Facebook I thought the answer was yes, and then suddenly it turned to no, it’s not for me.  At that point I thought the decision had been made.  It wasn’t until a turn of events occurred, more information was revealed, and the opportunity was once again something I wanted to pursue.

So what was this big decision? 

It was an invite to spend a week in Bali with a group of women, some who I know and others I have never met before, at a wonderful retreat.  The decision was two-fold, (1) whether to go to the retreat or not, and (2) if I didn’t go, what about meeting up with my friends after for a trip and touring Bali?

The switch from a strong NO to having the decision back on the table will have to be reserved for another Wednesday, as there are lots of bits of wisdom sparkling throughout it.  For tonight, I wanted to talk about making the decision and the freedom that comes with declaring it, finalizing it, making it real. 

My head had been spinning for about 2 weeks, should I go, shouldn’t I go – it is a lot of money, it is a valuable experience.  This is when two techniques appeared – neither of them difficult or revolutionary, yet both super powerful.  

The first came from a friend who recommended that I write out everything that was good about going and everything that is bad about it.  Now, as a solid supporter of the PRO/CON list, I was totally on board.  However, there were 2 major differences in what I had been doing and what I was instructed to do.  The first was to write down, what is good, what is bad, and then repeat – what is good, what is bad...and continue doing this until there was nothing left to say.  The interesting insight I found when I started to write my list was certain things came up again and again – so instead of writing it once like on a PRO/CON list, I wrote it down each time it came up.  The other wisdom came from actually writing it down.  I wasn’t trying to remember if I had “count” something as good or bad, I just kept writing until there was nothing left to say.  When I was finished I had three pages of the good and the bad – and a clear mind, no chatter, no mental math, just clarity. 

That was STEP 1...

The next step I borrowed from Danielle LaPorte, who had just been interviewed by Marie Forleo about the concept of goals and core desired feelings (check out the video here: http://www.marieforleo.com/2013/12/danielle-laporte-goals-desire/#more-5494) 

Danielle talks about using desires or feelings, instead of end results when setting goals.  So I sat down with pen and paper and started to write how I wanted to feel in life.  Now, this is very much the rapid fire version of what Danielle talks about; however, there was a decision to be made and I did not feel like time was on my side.  With a little bit of extra insight from Danielle’s book The Desire Map, I went to Dictionary.com to figure out what the true meaning of some of the words highlighted on my list were.  The two that stood out the most for me were – ALIVE and INSPIRE. 

With my “Good-Bad” list, two core desired feelings, and a clear mind – the decision was easy.  The break down went like this -  I have been talking like I am going, the value and the “good” are strong enough to overcome the “bad”, it aligns with feeling ALIVE and INSPIRED, and the answer is just YES.  It became so simple, so clear, so right for me.  I put action behind the decision and made my deposit – solidifying my YES even further.

The freedom that came with the decision was like a weight off my shoulders.  As I met up with friends that night to tell them the news and celebrate the holiday season, I got one of the best compliments ever – “You are glowing.”  The wonderful wisdom from this experience; a clear decision from the heart – sets me free! 

The wisdom for this Wednesday can be summarized as this:

Write down the information swirling in your head in whatever technique works for you.  Do not limit yourself to one decision-making technique; keep trying till you find what works.  Concentrate on the feelings you want and whether the opportunity in question will bring you closer to those feelings.  And above all else, make the decision that is right for YOU!